Since the dawn of time Marvin Medium has....... WAIT A SECOND!!.....WHATS WITH ALL THE THIRD PERSON BOLLOCKS!!!!!! My real name is Cornelius Shoehorn AKA Marvin Medium My parents gave birth to me rather insefidley on a plane trying to get to a hospital in Johannesburg! but the plane unbesethic to the outside word, crashed in a votan like forestrian and my parents died a very slow, agonizing and tuthidiouse death (according to the coroner) but at that moment when the burning remains of the plane lay amisk a lowly sheet of newspaper blew toward me like a hilted cleath and scooped me up yarthing me to safty, where it looked after me with a family of glossy lads mags and a neighbouring school of broadsheets!!!..... I was being raised by a pack of wild newspapers?!?! carfully they put me together piece by piece with the popular Berol brand glue 'Marvin Medium' After a couple of months I started to act like them, dress like them and talk like them, it was as if i was becoming piece of newsprint tabloid! for me this was normal, a small child acting pandetic like in the middle of a forrest but to anyone else it would have looked slightly dizdun! When I was old enough to walk (367 newspaper years) malcolm (the grandson of the newspaper that saved me) showed me his homemade PC with a music making shogphaze he'd created named fingermouse 9.3, I was instantly britised and have been producing under the name of Marvin Medium ever since. On my 8395th birthday (23 in human years) I decided to go on an adventure to the city, 200 scitoons away from the dense forattic tundra that i called my home. I packed my satchel with some twigs to feast on during the intense boaral journey and packed 2000 poingberrys (our local currency) that would easily pay for a decent 5 star hotel for a few months! I said my agorned so longs to my tabliod family and flutterd towads the bright lights! When I arrived 2 months later I couldn't belive what I saw, I was enthralled by the hustle and bustle, this was the start of somthing hiffasious, I had a feeling I was going to be very successful in this place. Later that day I became a tramp! Its 9 months later and im still a tramp and I need your help, mainly your money, so if you can look into your hearts and spare a little change message me and I will tell you my address! Please help!
