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Paul Oakenfold’s Neighbourhood Threat ::

Reported by Trackitdown TID on April 10, 2006

Superstar DJ Paul Oakenfold revealed this week that he’s seriously unhappy about living side by side with Tony Blair, because of both his noisy neighbour legislation and predeliction for playing the electric guitar.


“I’ve got a house in Connaught Square (Bayswater) and he bought the one next door,” Oakey told Time Out, “But it’s so expensive I’ve had to rent it out.”


The world’s most popular DJ (and richest, according to the Sunday Times Rich List of 2003) said he’d been regularly harassed by noise abatement officials at his last home in Notting Hill though said he’s yet to hear the PM blasting out power chords, somewhat to his dismay.


“I tell you, if I had, I’d have banged on the wall and got my own back for that poxy noise bill he introduced,” said Oakey, “Unfortunately he’s never lived there, I’m told he wants it for when he leaves government.”


Oakey’s neighbour from Hell problems began in 2004 when the Blair’s bought the identical next door house for £3.6million (€4.8million) prompting the Guardian to predict that ‘guitar-playing Tony Blair can look forward to jamming sessions with next door neighbour Paul Oakenfold’. Within a year, however, the Standard published a piece headlined ‘Blair Blight Hits Connaught Square’, suggesting houses in the Square could have lost as much as £350,000 (€470,000)


Ironically, Connaught Square is thought to be the burial ground for the headless body of Britain’s first puritanical leader Oliver Cromwell, who’s corpse was disinterred, beheaded and dumped in an anonymous burial bit in the Square, which in the 17th century was one of London’s key execution grounds. (‘The Tyburn gallows stood not far from the modern Marble Arch. Connaught Square is said by several authorities to have been the exact site . . .’) (‘Speculation surrounding the identity of the corpse produced at Tyburn in January 1661 rests upon lingering doubts over the location of the Protector’s grave, and particularly upon rumours that Cromwell had transposed the royal tombs. The most colourful version, in which Cromwell directed that his corpse be exchanged with that of Charles I, has a horrified executioner discovering at Tyburn that the hanging body had already been decapitated and the head sewn back . . .’)


Jonty Skrufff (