A new booklet produced for Americans abroad The World Citizens Guide was published this week and advised US business people to relax, shut up and listen to avoid alienating increasingly hostile foreigners.
"Match your voice level to the environment and other speakers- a loud voice is often perceived as a bragging voice, the Guide recommended, adding that Americans should keep religion private and try to refrain from judgements.
"No-one likes a know-it all and nobody likes a whole nation of them, the book suggested, (And) rightly or wrongly, the US is seen as appointing itself policeman, judge and jury to the world."
American recently-relocated-to-Berlin producer The Horrorist (aka Oliver Chesler) laughed off the advice, however, insisting hes only encountered prejudice when a bar tender once mistook him for a Brit.
Apparently some UK soccer team was playing Germany that night so he didn't want to serve me my Cubra Libre. As soon I a yelled the US Pledge of Allegiance as loud as I could, I got my drink, Oliver recalled.
In fact, my favourite pastime since moving here is talking loudly on the Berlin U-Bahn. Why do German people whisper on the train? I'm alive and I'm happy and so what if you hear me? he roared.
The take-no-prisoners tech star also ridiculed the Guides Americans are know-alls suggestion, pointing out of course we know a lot more than non-Americans, didn't you know that?
Sassy electro-star Princess Superstar was equally unimpressed, telling Skrufff as soon as you say you are from New York City everyone wants to be your friend. She also stressed shes never worn a loud shirt (I've worn duct tape over my nipples, does that count?) or knowingly lowered her conversational tone.
I come from a Sicilian and Jewish family where the normal conversational tone is yelling, she yelled.
Jonty Skrufff (JontySkrufff.com)