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Skruff Bites ::

Reported by Kris [] on September 19, 2008

Word Play: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Punk: Booby Prize: Rough Justice: Even Rougher Justice

“I studied English at University - I have always had aspirations to write, either as a journalist or a novelist.” (The Sun)

Moneypenny’s boss and DJ Jim ‘Shaft’ Ryan considers what might have been.


"We can confirm that John Lydon is the new face of the Country Life TV advertising campaign"

A spokesman from food company Dairy Crest announces that Sex Pistols singer Johnny Rotten is to star in a series of TV ads promoting butter.

“The levels we’ve found are far higher than expected.”

Food expert Dr Gunter Kuhnle, of the MRC Dunn Human Nutrition Unit warns that instant coffee, tea, red wine and real ale contain unusually high levels of gender-bender chemicals linked to men growing man-boobs.


“In the case of some popular personalities who were let of the hook, it is the discretion and the decision of Public Prosecution or the relevant courts. And, by the way, in some cases international diplomacy and relations have to be kept in mind.” (Khaleej Times Online)

Dubai security chief Major-General Khamis Matar A.Muhairi Al Mazeina, Deputy
Commandant-General of Dubai Police, speaks unusually openly about the reasons why the countries’ zero tolerance regime is occasionally relaxed,


“He said that he had drugs in his case and would rip open the neck of the person who searched the bag.“ He said: ‘ I will kill the person who searches my bag . . I will cause a disability for the person who searches me.”

A Dubai customs officer tells a court the words a Syrian traveller allegedly used when stopped (he was later found to have no drugs, though was arrested for being rude).

Jonty Skrufff (