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Russian Communists Brand Bond Girl a ‘Traitor’ ::

Reported by Ben Stroud on November 4, 2008

Communist Party officials in Russia launched a bizarre attack on Ukrianian actress Olga Kurylenko this week, for unpatriotically starring in the new James Bond film Quantum Of Solace.

The St. Petersburg-based KPLO group criticised her for ‘lounging around on the Cote D-Azur while ‘your peers are engaged in struggles against NATO’ ans labelled her a ‘wanton daughter of unclean Ukraine and deserter of the Slavic world.’

“The Soviet Union educated you, cared for you, and brought you up for free,” KPLO added, “But no one suspected that you would commit this act of intellectual and moral betrayal.”

Their issue with the notoriously promiscuous fictional British spy emerged several years after MI5 confirmed that the tales of real KGB spy John Symond were in fact true, some 25 years after the former London cop first confessed to out-sexing his (fictional) counterpart James Bond in the 70s.

Mr Symonds told MI5 he’d been given gold teeth and extensive training to equip him for his role, which included extensive hands-on tuition on sexual techniques by highly skilled Russian agents.

“I was taught how to be a better lover. Perhaps I wasn't a very good one before, I don't know,” the Soviet spy told the BBC in 1999, “But it was very pleasant. I was taught by two extremely beautiful girls,” he said.

MI5 were also bamboozled by notorious pot smuggler turned Manumission personality Howard Marks who used his membership in Britain’s secret service in the 70s as a cover for his smuggling.

I didn’t have anything to do with MI5—it was MI6, and even then I didn’t meet very many of their people,” Marks told High Times in an interview in 2006, “I wouldn’t necessarily say they were stupid,” the Oxford graduate added, “Just that their choice of career was.”

Jonty Skrufff (