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Skruff Bites ::

Reported by Ben Stroud on May 19, 2009


: Skrufff Bites (1)
Eyes Without A Face:  Silent But Deadly: Sick Joke: Flash In The Pan: Stealer’s Wheel

“It was all about being faceless, letting the music do the talking. That was one of the great things about techno music. Now it's all about what I look like, who I am, how I dress, how rock and roll I am and how stupid I can be.” (Resident Advisor)

French techno veteran Laurent Garnier grumbles about the state of modern French dance music.


"The woman (at the town hall) said to me they're going to have police there and we would have to go round to the loading bay. I was in tears this morning, I'm shattered. (Yorkshire Evening Post)

Bride to be Laura Queenan, 23, complains about organizers of a Facebook group who are trying to attract 5,000 revellers to a silent rave at Leeds Town Hall on the Saturday afternoon when she’s due to get married.


“That never happened. Although I was sitting next to someone who did throw up.” (Gatecrasher)

Hollywood film star George Clooney denies being so drunk at Miami nightclub Blade at the Fountainebleau Hotel that he vomited in the VIP area.


“Myself, Grandmaster Flash, Kool Herc – if you ever heard that set, then you heard music from all over the place. But somewhere down the line the evil ones stole the legacy of hip hop and flipped it to a corporate type of hip hop.” (Time Out)

Grandmaster Flash blasts the uniformity of mainstream hip hop.


"Even bike thieves have street cred.” (Guardian)

Yannick Read of suggests the best way to avoid having a bicycle stolen is to attach a shopping basket on its front.

: Skrufff Bites (2)
Money. Money, Money: Hot Air: Come Again? Angry Old Men: Cereal Killer

“I spend, spend, spend, ha-ha. There are loads of Chanel jackets in my wardrobe. I am singlehandedly keeping the economy going.” (The Times)

Lily Allen emulates Paris Hilton’s selfless shopping sprees.


”In no case should these levels be considered representative of the air in the two cities.” (AP)

Spanish scientists reveal they’ve detected significant traces of cocaine in the atmosphere at two air-quality control stations in Madrid and Barcelona.


"Orgasms are not central to women for great sex. Women know it's trickier to get an orgasm but most still find sex satisfying, physically and emotionally.” (Sun Media, Canada)

Robin Milhausen, sexologist at the University of Guelph, says orgasms don’t matter THAT much.


‘We can all relate to a Basil Fawlty-type character, but there’s also something quite endearing-about Basil. After all, he is quintessentially British!’ (Daily Mail)

Paul Moreton, head of TV comedy channel GOLD, comments on a study revealing that Brits are the angriest nation in Europe (losing their temper 4 times a day compared to Norwegians, Swedes and Danish who lose it once every five days.)


"We have determined that [Cheerios cereal] is promoted for conditions that cause it to be a drug."

America’s all powerful FDA (Food & Drug Adminstration) announce that the marketing of uber-popular breakfast cereal Cheerios mean the product is now officially a drug.


Jonty Skrufff (