Bookmark and Share

Worlds Smallest Festival

Reported by Charlie G [] on August 27, 2009

'One back garden in London. A home made stage. 2 sheds. A family tent. 2 gazebos. A greenhouse... and 100 lucky festival-goers… Welcome to The World's Smallest Festival'.

As part of the sensation that is BLAG A MILLION we present: the World’s Smallest Festival. It’s on 9/9/09 in a back garden, somewhere in London..

At a secret location, the Blag A Million team are busily working to establish the baby of all festivals. No VIP passes and hordes of people. No bands that appear as tiny specks in the distance because you can't see what the hell is going on. Instead, bands, comedians, and performers will strut their stuff in garden sheds and family sized tents, whilst a rave party goes on inside a gazebo. And, with no one really knowing each other (tickets are being raffled off for £1.50 a pop), it'll be a bit like a surreal Freshers Week. But in a day.

"2 nimwits trying to blag a million pounds, by any means possible and in 90 days!"

The Blag A Million project came about as 2 penniless chaps from London decided that they were fed up with not being able to get funding for their films.

They then decided that the best way of doing this was to get the money themselves and to set up a fund where budding film makers like themselves could get the money needed to put interesting TV back on the telly. So a bit like BritDoc on ‘shrooms, really.

One half of the team of this hare-brained scheme, Donal Coonan says: “Festivals are awesome but they’re just too big. Everyone loves a garden shed. So we thought we should combine the two. That’s where the idea came from. But we also didn’t want to sell tickets for really high prices. So we thought we should set up a text raffle. A txt-rfl.”

And the other half, Fraser Byrne, scrawled this onto a piece of paper, whilst heading off to think of yet more stupid ways of getting the million quid- "I can't wait to see the garden transformed. It's going to look like Narnia on hallucinogenics!”

They've tried selling breast milk ice cream, they've attempted to become male escorts, and they're also in the process of releasing a single with an X Factor reject....But THIS is the idea they think might very well make them A MILLION!!
For this element, wannabe festival-goers are asked to text BLAG to 60777 to be in with the chance of winning 1 of the 100 available tickets.
Each text costs £1.50 and texters will then be placed in the raffle to win one of these VERY exclusive tickets.

The boys on Sky News:

* DISCLAIMER: If you want to get petty, this may not actually be the World’s Smallest Festival ever but we would like to think so, and it’s probably the smallest with this much entertainment and venues. So there.

At the moment the line-up is looking weak to say the least, but with your help we hope to spread the word far and wide so that the big players in rock, comedy and entertainment take heed and want to become part of this amazing venture.

Possibilities include:(and we would love to get)
Florence & The Machine, Lily Allen, Noel Fielding, Bill Bailey, Russell Brand, Manu Chao, Noah & The Whale, Radiohead and many more

Please see below how we are trying to do this:

So far confirmed are London rock gods ‘Jetblack’, ‘Mr Nice’ himself, yes Howard Marks on the ones and twos and bringing some showbiz chums with him. Steve Lamacq assured ‘The Barker Band’ and hopefully lots lots more, but this is where you guys come in.

Please help spread the word and make this the bestest smallest festival in the world!

Venues on the cards so far include: The Main Stage- a collection of scaffold and planks, put together and then decorated to make into the best, but also the world’s smallest main festival stage.
An old Green House- transformed into a bar and food area.
The Comedy Tent- an old fashioned family tent complete with cinema chairs, and a capacity of about 5, including, of course, a comedian.
The Dance Tent- a garden gazebo, complete with a whole 20w of power.
Sheds will be transformed into side shows full of wonder and merriment.
Gazebos will be decorated to become circus tents.

It will be a wonder to behold.

In addition to this there will be a bar, a fire pit, entertainers, lights, lasers and TV’s for the smaller venues so that everyone can see the action. There may be more stuff too but we’ll have to see what we can blag…
Generally though we are looking to transform our, as yet overgrown site, into a rock n roll labyrinth of little stages, tents, caves and fire pits. Of course there will also be crazy circus acts like any proper music festival should.

Here’s some links that may explain a bit more about this whole project and indeed the festival:

The whole project:

The festival: