A new study of 3,000 Brits’ love lives has revealed that one in five people in relationships are secretly in love with someone else, with one in six of those likely to have an affair.
“Even in a happy relationship, it seems to be possible to have a wandering eye or even crave affection from another person,” A spokesman from www.OnePoll.com told the Daily Mail, “Men have a bad reputation when it comes to eyeing up other women and the research proves this is actually true.” (Daily Mail)
The question of why men cheat was addressed by US author of ‘Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality’ Christopher Ryan, who suggested one reason middle-aged men do it is to boost testosterone levels which start diminishing when men turn 20.
“One of the few things that can reliably and immediately revive a man's sagging testosterone is exposure to a new woman,” AOL News reported, “One researcher found that even a brief chat with an attractive woman raised men's testosterone levels by fourteen percent within minutes.”
The author suggested older men could mistake the hormone surge for love, which AOL suggested could be a moralistic interpretation. The moral aspect was also addressed recently on Christian website ‘Everymansbattle.com’ in a report called ‘How To Stop Your Wandering Eye- Every Man’s Battle’.
“Players flirt… learn to un-flirt. Players banter… learn to un-banter. If a woman smiles with a knowing look, learn to smile with a slightly confused look, to un-smile,” the website recommends. “If she talks about things that are hip, talk about things are un-hip to her, like your wife and kids. She’ll find you pleasant enough but rather bland and uninteresting. Perfect.”
Christian website SexinChrist.com also notes the sinfulness of lust (‘Matthew 5:28 tells us: “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”) though took a different tack, suggesting threesomes in some circumstances could get round the problem.
“In order to avoid temptation, both the husband and his wife’s female partner should focus their attentions and affection on the wife,” the site stresses. “And the purpose of the relationship must be that it ultimately strengthens the existing bond.
SexinChrist fans: ‘I wrote them a long letter lovingly and gently rebuking them with Scripture right before I found your site. Their site gets a lot of traffic, too, it's awful. I've been praying that the site would be destroyed and that God would convict them of this abomination and change their hearts. God is merciful . . .’)
Jonty Skrufff; Follow Jonty on Twitter