Bookmark and Share

World’s Smallest Club No Longer the Smallest (Official)

Reported by JontySkrufff on July 7, 2011

Seminal micro-club the Miniscule of Sound has been dropped from the Guinness Book of Records after Liverpool (relative) newcomer Rumours snatched their crown.

“The world's smallest nightclub is "Rumours", which is a box measuring only 2.10 m (6 ft 8 in) high, 1.17 m (4 ft 10 in) wide and 1.78 m (5 ft 10 in) deep,” said Guinness in the new issue.

“It was created by Deborah Borrett and Lisa Williams (both UK) and was presented at the Liverpool Bold Street Festival in Liverpool, UK, on 26 September 2010.”

Rumours promoter and owner Deborah Borrett was ecstatic.

“We smashed the previous world record by thirty four centimeters squared. In the world of miniature clubs, that’s a whole person on the dancefloor!” she said in a press release announcing their victory, “I’m delighted,’ she added.

Miniscule of Sound first launched in 1998 in Hackney’s London Fields and entered the Guinness Book of Records in 2000 after becoming a popular fixture at music festivals worldwide. Holding a maximum of eight revelers, the club attracted further kudos when they demanded Fatboy Slim submit a demo tape before being allowed to spun, cementing the club’s credible reputation.

 In 2001, however, the club was ordered by Ministry of Sound ‘to destroy its blatantly plagiarist logo and rename itself, to avoid being mistaken for the superclub’ (Wikipedia), which Ministry subsequently backtracked on following a media campaign supporting Miniscule.

In response, Miniscule unveiled the catchphrase ‘we're not big, we're not clever, and we're not the Ministry of Sound’ though in recent years slipped off the mainstream media radar, allowing Rumours to step into the breach.

Speaking further about her victory, Deborah sounded determined to build on her success.

“We’ve had some of the best times in Rumours but an enormous amount of hard work has gone into the club not to mention the actual record break.” She said. 

“Rumours has a one hundred percent customer satisfaction record, every single person leaves with a smile on their face.” (‘Say goodbye to extortionate door charges, big name DJs and turbo sound systems. The ultimate nightclub, like IKEA furniture, now comes flat-packed - complete with fake fur, strobes, mirrorball and the world's longest guest-list . . .’) (Miniscule on Youtube ‘Drug dealing will not be tolerated on these premises except by prior arrangement…’) 

Jonty Skrufff: