Minnesota revellers have announced details of their next apocalypse themed event ‘Rapture II: We're Still Here’, after their wildly successful Blasphemer's Ball which followed Harold Camping’s last prediction that the world would end on May 21st.
Targeting ‘fellow atheists, heathens, and curious left-behinders’ the irreverent sinners poked fun at the 89 year old Famlly Radio chief’s latest prediction that October 21 is apocalypse day, in a demonically worded new press release.
“Remember May 21st, 1988, when the ground quaked, planes fell from the sky, flames roared over the Earth, and heathens repented in their last remaining seconds? Er, wait . . .,” they said.
“No, it was September 7th, 1994 when virulent outbreaks devastated entire populations, continents were swallowed by the oceans, trumpets sounded,
Um . . . Okay, it was May 21st, 2011, when boils . . .
Hmm,” they scoffed.
“Well, this time Harold Camping is sure. The Family Radio host who made those previous judgment day predictions now has October 21st, 2011 pencilled in on his calendar as the "real" rapture. Will the fourth time be the charm? We're betting against,” they mocked.
Religious affairs portal GodDiscussion.com, meanwhile, dissected the details of Pastor Camping’s latest revised claims in graphic details.
“Here is what we can expect from the October 21st Judgment Day, which looks to be the last day of existence for planet Earth,” said GodDiscussion.
“Zombies will be walking around when the dead are raised, earthquakes will further disgorge the dead, and those who died saved will be resurrected and be raptured. The unsaved dead will simply have their bodies littering the earth everywhere.”
“Then a raging fire from the Lord is going to consume those of us who aren't saved. The message? Get saved now!” they recommended. (GodDiscussion.com; http://bit.ly/qbnzf0 )
In possibly related news, the Daily Mail ran a cover feature suggesting that one of the Canaries Islands could soon collapse into the sea, after seismologists detected over 150 tremors on El Hierro.
“There is a ball of magma rising to the surface producing a series of ruptures which generate seismic activity,” local seismologist Juan Carlos Carrecedo told reporters, 'We don't know if that ball of magma will break through the crust and cause an eruption,” he continued, adding that it could happen ‘within days, weeks or months’.
The last eruption on the island was in 1793 and the Mail speculated its occurrence could lead to a mega-tsunami, the hypothetical giant wave some some scientists say could wipe out the entire East Coast of the US. (Mail; http://bit.ly/qCl2tg )
http://bit.ly/nRdgtc (‘Rapture II: We're Still Here - Saturday, Oct. 22, 8:00 p.m., Mpls)
http://bit.ly/mZ6Duc (Harold Camping- not (quite) dead yet, Youtube)
Jonty Skrufff: http://listn.to/JontySkrufff